Heartbeat

I am preparing in a corner of the swimming pool. I set myself a goal to swim under water to the other side.

I calm down my breathing to a level of total relaxation, meditating. I take a small gasp of air but not too much.

I dive down with a firm push to the wall with my legs and reach the pool floor quickly. I feel the pressure of the deep pool above me in my ears

With one firm row of my arms I am pushed forwards fast. I let myself flow through the water holding on to the level of calmness I had while meditating before the dive.

I watch the tile move underneath me. My heart beats quietly. I flow through the water using the strength of my arm, but using as little energy as possible.

Another row with my arms, and another. I feel my body using the oxygen from my lungs. The pool is endless but I don’t care. My heart beats slower and slower.

I can move my arms and push myself forward and it feels like I can stop my heart beating. Stop the essential nerve connections that make my heart muscle stop contracting completely. It’s just a small step to peace.

My body is weightless in the water. No pain, no wrong movement, the pressure on my skin holds my muscles tight without using energy.

My arms push me through the water a last time. The shadow of the opposite pool wall appears. As I slowly rise up I start to feel the need to breathe again.

I take a deep breath as I look at the other side of the pool. My body is no longer in the state of peace as it was on the bottom of the pool.

But I look at the distance and I am proud I made it. I set myself a goal and I did it. Enjoying the moments of peaceful calmness and meditation. One day I will be at peace with my body like I was at the bottom of that pool.